Dear Reader, I consider myself a late bloomer. A few years ago, I read a book by Rich Karlgaard called Late Bloomers, The Power of Patience In A World Obsessed With Early Achievement. Merriam-Webster describes late bloomers as “someone who becomes successful, attractive, etc., at a later time in life than other people.” Apparently, a surprising number of people describe themselves as late bloomers.
I believe I'm a late bloomer even though I pretty much shouldered the load early on and did the proper things--grades, college, etc. It's like a took a long vacation after college towards settling in to adulthood. But when I asserted myself I caught up in good time. I think it also was the times I grew up in--people were finally allowed to 'find themselves.'
Jeanine, thank you for reading. I think that time to figure out who you are is so important. And there are many parts to blooming- the one with the external milestones, the internal journey, and what the Jungians call individuation.
“The hero in each of us is required to answer the call of individuation. We must turn away from the cacaphony of the outerworld to hear the inner voice. When we can dare to live its promptings, then we achieve personhood.” - James Hollis
Richard, there is definitely power in those blooms!
When I first wrote this essay, it also had this part: “Wikipedia describes a late bloomer as “a person whose talents or capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual.” The article adds that sometimes a child who was slower to demonstrate their talent may, as an adult, “overtake their peers.”
We may or maybe, we don’t. When I think of my writing journey, I don’t know if I will overtake anything except the older version of myself, but going on the journey means everything to me. Thank you for reading and for sharing your comments! I appreciate it!
I’m definitely a late bloomers in certain ways and early in other ways. Great piece. You make such a beautiful point in acknowledging the rigid timeline of societies judgments of success. I’m so glad I caught this today, Mother’s Day as I am a mom-to-be, at 38. Right on ‘time’. 💜🍑
Congratulations, The Purple Peach! I’m glad you brought up the point that some parts bloom early while others might need more time. It brings home that we are such a mosaic of different parts.
Thank you for this...definitely a late bloomer by conventional standards. I feel like my years before early 40's were just awakening out of a deep freeze and withdrawal (during which time I achieved a moderate level of achievement as measured by our culture)...so in a way my 60's are like early adulthood. And I so look forward to what I can create from here, now that my true self is finally free enough....
Ellen, more power to you! I can relate to the awakening from deep freeze, like one of those fairy tales where the protagonist falls asleep and wakes up years later. Thank you for reading and sharing your story!
Some people bloom or become successful later than others. That's okay.
We should follow our own path and interests, not what others expect.
Success can happen at any age if we are curious, bounce back from setbacks, and don't get stuck when we "should" achieve things. Thanks for sharing Priya ( middle bloomer lol )
Tinashe, how to avoid stuckness and being resilient should be taught in school alongside subjects like math and history. I think I bloomed on time re traditional college and grad degrees etc., but probably, discovering what my gifts are/what I want to be when I grow up 😀 took a long time. Which makes me wonder if that is really the work of the middle years. Thank you, I appreciate your comment!
That book sounds wonderful. Along with late bloomer comes changes in careers. Both are important. Work can be more fluid these days. We just need to recognize the journey when it’s offered to us.
Carissa, this is so true! To recognize what’s offered to us is a life skill and yes, late blooming comes with trying different things until you find the right fit or the right time, or both!
I don’t like to think of myself as a late bloomer, but it’s probably true, although it feels better to think of oneself as a perennial. One of my favorite writers, William Gay, was a carpenter and sheet rocker until he retired and started getting published. I associate him with the Cormac McCarthy crew.
Somehow we cling to the idea that life is a sprint and if we don’t get into the correct kindergarten, we’re doomed to a life of mediocrity. But life is a marathon and the winners are those who sprint across the finish line.
Mr. Switter, “correct kindergarten” 😀! I love that. There is the idea of succeed now or lose the chance forever as though life won’t offer any more opportunities that stops people from trying.
I’ve thought about different national educational systems where futures are decided by periodic testing that acts as a kind of intellectual sifting. If one doesn’t do well on those tests, it’s as if they are predestined to become children of a lesser destiny. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
I found this a few days ago and shared it with my daughter. I haven’t had time to research the sources, but will. It seems true on the face of it.
I really like this post! Especially "there are areas of our lives we can only reach after traveling through the others, and we are right on time" -- I agree, it's a much more optimistic (and realistic in many cases) outlook than judging oneself for taking one route earlier
One example that comes to mind is something I read recently: Cat Brushing by Jane Campbell. It's her debut, published the year she turned 80 :) a beautiful collection of short stories all about older women, so she was certainly "right on time."
Anna, thank you! Re “ there are areas of our lives we can only reach after traveling through the others, and we are right on time” - in my own experience, sometimes we are not ready. I started writing really early, but I sort of gave it up to go to college, grad school, etc. I knew something important was missing from my life, but until I started writing again, I didn’t know what that was. This time around, writing felt more necessary. And, I felt more able to pursue it. It’s made me think I had to take the scenic route to see its value 😀!
Definitely, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t even ready to bloom when I thought I should be blooming. I thought it was all over when I wasn’t publishing a novel at 30 or 40. And now at sixty I have a poetry collection coming out.
“What if, just like a Connect the dots puzzle with its consecutive numbers, there are areas of our lives we can only reach after traveling through the others, and we are right on time for that new project, habit, job, or mindset?”
God’s cruelest irony. We are perhaps mentally and spiritually best at an older age—just when our bodies are falling apart. 😉
Dee, thank you for reading! I wrote this last year and when I re-read it, I felt the irony of yes, I absolutely should take on the task of late blooming even as I am aware that time is finite.
Priya, I will read the last paragraph of this essay over and over. Thank you! I am a late bloomer with some things and not others. I take great comfort in reading about the 72 year old who began her project and your excellent theory about the possible need to connect the dots before we can arrive at the next thing our soul is calling us to do.
I was a right in time bloomer that later rejected and hibernated and is now a second bloomer. Am I late? Yes but I couldn’t have truly bloomed until I had walked enough of the path to have the perspective that finally gave me the courage needed to truly bloom on my own terms.
My daughter turns 24 in a few months and graduated college this month. Coming from a generation and family that pushed quick academic excellence, it took a huge amount of mental unraveling on my part to insist that my daughter slow down in school. I told her I would rather pay for 8 years in junior college where she talk classes in underwater basket weaving along with math than have her thrown herself into a 4 year without actually knowing what she wanted to do (as I did). She starts grad school in the fall and knows exactly what she wants to do in this phase of her life. Does that make her a late bloomer? Maybe but it also makes her someone who appreciates and owns her own space and beautiful blooms…it took me until a few years ago to realize to even see my own blooming so I couldn’t be prouder of her late blooms :)
Chris, thank you for reading. You are pointing out something very important- life isn’t about relentless growth. There is a seasonality. I appreciate you for sharing your story and perspective.
Thank you, Priya, for this beautifully written invitation to life-traveled reflecting.
Next month I will be 73, still considering undertaking a master's program. My journey through adulthood has been one of repeating discoveries of "no, not this," followed by "nor this," "or even that," ad infinitum. Somehow, I managed to complete my undergraduate degree... ultimately a twenty-two-year on-off-on endeavor that I began in my 30's. It was a project which really led to nothing more than my completing something.
When I look at those "not this" activities I've walked away from, they are a bit astounding in terms of achievement. Apparently, the activities failed to engage me sufficiently. Maybe I just have a short attention span when it comes to career-type engagements.
So, master what discipline? My interests are so diverse - history, perirenal philosophy, depth psychology, and on and on. Upon finally earning my bachelor's degree in 2007, I had considered crafting a master's program studying the then-emergent field of civil society. However, as the anti-woke right advances here in the USA, it might be smarter to concentrate on surviving aimless revolution and the disintegration of society.
Richard, I think figuring out the not this and not that is one of the tasks of life and in that, maybe, we discover what we want to do/ what draws us. I’ve written about this before and am going to share it again next week, but it feels like a kind of dance, where we circle around our life, unpacking it, trying to get to some elusive center. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
“Late bloomer” to me suggests a young girl whose puberty comes later than her peers which— yes, I was and also it was so uncomfortable for anyone to mention it. I always thought: yuck, why is anyone, even my mother let alone a teacher or neighbor or stranger, paying attention or offering comment on that? So I prefer the idea of steady growth as a metaphor, or for those who start a new, more impressive chapter in mid-life, a second act. Both of these allow the possibility of “more to come” without judging what came before as somehow inadequate.
I believe I'm a late bloomer even though I pretty much shouldered the load early on and did the proper things--grades, college, etc. It's like a took a long vacation after college towards settling in to adulthood. But when I asserted myself I caught up in good time. I think it also was the times I grew up in--people were finally allowed to 'find themselves.'
Jeanine, thank you for reading. I think that time to figure out who you are is so important. And there are many parts to blooming- the one with the external milestones, the internal journey, and what the Jungians call individuation.
I'll have to check out individuation. All so interesting!
“The hero in each of us is required to answer the call of individuation. We must turn away from the cacaphony of the outerworld to hear the inner voice. When we can dare to live its promptings, then we achieve personhood.” - James Hollis
Beautiful! I guess like The Hero's Journey, that Campbell writes about.
Late bloomers like a rose have longer lasting flowers.
Richard, there is definitely power in those blooms!
When I first wrote this essay, it also had this part: “Wikipedia describes a late bloomer as “a person whose talents or capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual.” The article adds that sometimes a child who was slower to demonstrate their talent may, as an adult, “overtake their peers.”
We may or maybe, we don’t. When I think of my writing journey, I don’t know if I will overtake anything except the older version of myself, but going on the journey means everything to me. Thank you for reading and for sharing your comments! I appreciate it!
I’m definitely a late bloomers in certain ways and early in other ways. Great piece. You make such a beautiful point in acknowledging the rigid timeline of societies judgments of success. I’m so glad I caught this today, Mother’s Day as I am a mom-to-be, at 38. Right on ‘time’. 💜🍑
Congratulations, The Purple Peach! I’m glad you brought up the point that some parts bloom early while others might need more time. It brings home that we are such a mosaic of different parts.
Thank you for reading and all the best to you!
Thank you for this...definitely a late bloomer by conventional standards. I feel like my years before early 40's were just awakening out of a deep freeze and withdrawal (during which time I achieved a moderate level of achievement as measured by our culture)...so in a way my 60's are like early adulthood. And I so look forward to what I can create from here, now that my true self is finally free enough....
Ellen, more power to you! I can relate to the awakening from deep freeze, like one of those fairy tales where the protagonist falls asleep and wakes up years later. Thank you for reading and sharing your story!
Some people bloom or become successful later than others. That's okay.
We should follow our own path and interests, not what others expect.
Success can happen at any age if we are curious, bounce back from setbacks, and don't get stuck when we "should" achieve things. Thanks for sharing Priya ( middle bloomer lol )
Tinashe, how to avoid stuckness and being resilient should be taught in school alongside subjects like math and history. I think I bloomed on time re traditional college and grad degrees etc., but probably, discovering what my gifts are/what I want to be when I grow up 😀 took a long time. Which makes me wonder if that is really the work of the middle years. Thank you, I appreciate your comment!
That book sounds wonderful. Along with late bloomer comes changes in careers. Both are important. Work can be more fluid these days. We just need to recognize the journey when it’s offered to us.
Carissa, this is so true! To recognize what’s offered to us is a life skill and yes, late blooming comes with trying different things until you find the right fit or the right time, or both!
Thank you!
I don’t like to think of myself as a late bloomer, but it’s probably true, although it feels better to think of oneself as a perennial. One of my favorite writers, William Gay, was a carpenter and sheet rocker until he retired and started getting published. I associate him with the Cormac McCarthy crew.
Somehow we cling to the idea that life is a sprint and if we don’t get into the correct kindergarten, we’re doomed to a life of mediocrity. But life is a marathon and the winners are those who sprint across the finish line.
Mr. Switter, “correct kindergarten” 😀! I love that. There is the idea of succeed now or lose the chance forever as though life won’t offer any more opportunities that stops people from trying.
Thank you for reading!
I’ve thought about different national educational systems where futures are decided by periodic testing that acts as a kind of intellectual sifting. If one doesn’t do well on those tests, it’s as if they are predestined to become children of a lesser destiny. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
I found this a few days ago and shared it with my daughter. I haven’t had time to research the sources, but will. It seems true on the face of it.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/279324971924002?fs=e&s=cl&mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v
I really like this post! Especially "there are areas of our lives we can only reach after traveling through the others, and we are right on time" -- I agree, it's a much more optimistic (and realistic in many cases) outlook than judging oneself for taking one route earlier
One example that comes to mind is something I read recently: Cat Brushing by Jane Campbell. It's her debut, published the year she turned 80 :) a beautiful collection of short stories all about older women, so she was certainly "right on time."
Anna, thank you! Re “ there are areas of our lives we can only reach after traveling through the others, and we are right on time” - in my own experience, sometimes we are not ready. I started writing really early, but I sort of gave it up to go to college, grad school, etc. I knew something important was missing from my life, but until I started writing again, I didn’t know what that was. This time around, writing felt more necessary. And, I felt more able to pursue it. It’s made me think I had to take the scenic route to see its value 😀!
And publishing at 80! So amazing!
Definitely, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t even ready to bloom when I thought I should be blooming. I thought it was all over when I wasn’t publishing a novel at 30 or 40. And now at sixty I have a poetry collection coming out.
LeeAnn, thank you for sharing! Congratulations on the poetry collection!
Fellow late bloomer here, and love this!
Thank you, Deb, for reading and sharing!
“What if, just like a Connect the dots puzzle with its consecutive numbers, there are areas of our lives we can only reach after traveling through the others, and we are right on time for that new project, habit, job, or mindset?”
God’s cruelest irony. We are perhaps mentally and spiritually best at an older age—just when our bodies are falling apart. 😉
You are right on time. 🙏
Dee, thank you for reading! I wrote this last year and when I re-read it, I felt the irony of yes, I absolutely should take on the task of late blooming even as I am aware that time is finite.
Priya, I will read the last paragraph of this essay over and over. Thank you! I am a late bloomer with some things and not others. I take great comfort in reading about the 72 year old who began her project and your excellent theory about the possible need to connect the dots before we can arrive at the next thing our soul is calling us to do.
Donna, thank you! I love the idea of life being a giant board game!
I was a right in time bloomer that later rejected and hibernated and is now a second bloomer. Am I late? Yes but I couldn’t have truly bloomed until I had walked enough of the path to have the perspective that finally gave me the courage needed to truly bloom on my own terms.
My daughter turns 24 in a few months and graduated college this month. Coming from a generation and family that pushed quick academic excellence, it took a huge amount of mental unraveling on my part to insist that my daughter slow down in school. I told her I would rather pay for 8 years in junior college where she talk classes in underwater basket weaving along with math than have her thrown herself into a 4 year without actually knowing what she wanted to do (as I did). She starts grad school in the fall and knows exactly what she wants to do in this phase of her life. Does that make her a late bloomer? Maybe but it also makes her someone who appreciates and owns her own space and beautiful blooms…it took me until a few years ago to realize to even see my own blooming so I couldn’t be prouder of her late blooms :)
Chris, thank you for reading. You are pointing out something very important- life isn’t about relentless growth. There is a seasonality. I appreciate you for sharing your story and perspective.
Thank you, Priya, for this beautifully written invitation to life-traveled reflecting.
Next month I will be 73, still considering undertaking a master's program. My journey through adulthood has been one of repeating discoveries of "no, not this," followed by "nor this," "or even that," ad infinitum. Somehow, I managed to complete my undergraduate degree... ultimately a twenty-two-year on-off-on endeavor that I began in my 30's. It was a project which really led to nothing more than my completing something.
When I look at those "not this" activities I've walked away from, they are a bit astounding in terms of achievement. Apparently, the activities failed to engage me sufficiently. Maybe I just have a short attention span when it comes to career-type engagements.
So, master what discipline? My interests are so diverse - history, perirenal philosophy, depth psychology, and on and on. Upon finally earning my bachelor's degree in 2007, I had considered crafting a master's program studying the then-emergent field of civil society. However, as the anti-woke right advances here in the USA, it might be smarter to concentrate on surviving aimless revolution and the disintegration of society.
Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Richard, I think figuring out the not this and not that is one of the tasks of life and in that, maybe, we discover what we want to do/ what draws us. I’ve written about this before and am going to share it again next week, but it feels like a kind of dance, where we circle around our life, unpacking it, trying to get to some elusive center. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Very good Priya!
Thank you, Reena!
“Late bloomer” to me suggests a young girl whose puberty comes later than her peers which— yes, I was and also it was so uncomfortable for anyone to mention it. I always thought: yuck, why is anyone, even my mother let alone a teacher or neighbor or stranger, paying attention or offering comment on that? So I prefer the idea of steady growth as a metaphor, or for those who start a new, more impressive chapter in mid-life, a second act. Both of these allow the possibility of “more to come” without judging what came before as somehow inadequate.
Abra, thank you for sharing. These kind of words are so powerful and can have such an effect on us, especially when we are young.