I was in the kitchen early in the morning. It was dark outside, darker because of daylight savings time. Strangely, I was awake earlier rather than later. I turned on the kitchen light, and instead of setting the pot for morning chai, I went to the window overlooking the backyard. I saw my reflection in the glass, part of my face, and the outline of my body. And this is where things get stranger. It was still and quiet both inside the house and outside. Looking at my reflection, I imagined myself opening my mouth wide as though yawning, a great big yawn.
What an interesting experience! I love the image of old stories leaving as birds that can just fly away. In the tarot, which is also an archetypal journey, the suit of Swords is associated with air (and therefore our mental faculties: thoughts, ideas, logic, etc). These cards are often depicted with birds. If you are familiar with tarot, it may be interesting to consider what card you’d associate with that image of yourself and all those birds escaping from your body.
Shinjini, I was talking to a new friend and I heard myself tell an old story. This post is inspired by that conversation and by the reluctance I felt in letting the stories go. I forgot about the birds on the tarot cards and what you say about air resonates. Thank you!
Thanks Priya. Yes, I do tarot but very infrequently now. I wasn’t aware swords = air. Hmm. I’m an air sign and they always seem a bit foreboding to me. I gravitate towards wands actually. May break out the deck soon and give it a go. Btw I thought your dream was fascinating! Mine are usually relationship related and much more mundane.though I know everything is a symbol . Long ago I took an incredible 10 wk dream class, forget the name now. But my last dream ended up with me in the Akashic records so, it did it’s work for sure.
How do I let go of a story? Sometimes I say, This sucks, or it’s not there yet. Recently, I decided to put aside my novel. That was huge. The story was too close to a family member so unless I completely redo it will stay tucked away in a corner on my laptop.
This is beautiful and mystical, shamanic and alchemical. I am not sure that you 'merely' imagined it, perhaps that dark window in the early morning was a portal into another realm, the inner realm of your soul. All lives ask us to become masters of departure, but this has been such a theme in my life. I could truly write a dissertation on it, though for me, sharing it through dance, poetry and writing is the way....I will think more on your question.
Ellen, thank you for sharing. I’d come to rely on those stories and it can keep you stuck. “All lives ask us to become masters of departure..” You said it so well!
I want to say something profound and experience-based. But I have nothing more than admiration for your words, how they convey the mystical experience, and wonder at the depth and richness of your thinking. Fabulous start to the week.
Birds, departure, migration only to return. Yet it’s what we learned, the places we saw that make a difference. I am in a six month departure, still seeing new places before my hero must return and share it with my tribe. Nice to see your birds find their way to my city.
Resident20some, I hadn’t thought of migration. Thank you for connecting that dot for me. Wishing you happy journeys and returns, and say hello to the birds!
Beautiful. I wonder if some will come back to roost again or if they have left for good. I felt a big relief from a departure Iade a few weeks ago. It's not a final farewell but more of a boundaries being readjusted. I am not sure they'll stay though (the boundaries). Only time will tell. I hope yours do.
What a gift, this magical image of release! Early waking turned out to be a gift for you, and the writing of it makes it a gift for anyone else in the midst of transformation. And who isn't in the midst of transformation? Priya, thank you for sharing this beauty. I am happy for your lightness.
Thanks for the nudge, Priya. I’ve been avoiding this one because I so dislike saying goodbye (I know I’m not alone there). Currently, this means leaving my house of 20 years and this city where we lived for 34 years. We are able to put this off for as long as we need but it drags on us. The house deserves better than the occasional weekend stay.
Then this shone through for me: “We may consciously make a choice to leave something behind.” Instantly upon reading that, I felt lighter. I don’t yet know what I may leave, but I know it’ll be something of myself, a token of my deep love and fondness for the place. For the huge old poplar, the two equally magnificent beeches, the dogwoods, hollys, oaks. Thank you for the reminder that ritual can help ease emotional turmoil.
Julie, I was curious about what this brought up for you. Thank you for reading. I’ve been thinking this constant emptying of the old and making oneself available for the new is one of life’s key themes. I was tempted to make it into a redemptive story of “once you empty, the new will come in”, but I decided not to. I just read Candace’s Dandelion Seeds where she talks about letting the forest find us. May the forest (and all your beloved trees) find you in your new home!
Very intriguing Priya! I have not experienced this but I'm wonderstruck by the magical nature of this. Also, I wonder if the stories leave for good because they're false or their hold lessens because we see them in a brighter light... Must discuss.
Reena, I thought of it as stories I didn't need anymore. They were now more a crutch than anything else and I had to learn to walk without them. Thank you, and I'd love to discuss it with you!
The way this experience felt like a letting go is particularly interesting. I’ve often wondered if visualising things happening can help is shed emotional or psychological weights. Your piece captured that well. :)
“If a flock of birds residing in your chest cavity, or more likely, the pit of your stomach, is going to leave, this was the time they would do it.”
There’s another way, but it lacks a certain esthetic appeal.
One early morning in Kenya, when I had a few rare moments to myself, I decided to take a drive through a local game park where I discovered a zebra carcass attended by a wake of Cape vultures who stood at grim attention. Suddenly, in single file, a second wake of vultures exited through a large cavity in the zebra’s hind quarters and politely stepped aside so the first wake could enter and dine.
Grim, morbid, but delightfully thoughtful. Nothing is ever so lacking that it can’t be improved by a little common courtesy.
Grim, indeed. It made me think that both the vultures and the birds I imagined were scavengers, one feasting on the dead while the other took away life energy while I still lived. Thank you, Mr. Switter.
This was fascinating! Yes, our stories change us; there's no doubt about that. I had never thought of it as release, though, like you have with the bird symbol. I tend to think of it in terms of metamorphosis - a more integral process.
Annette, I didn’t have a chance to reply earlier. What you said was fascinating to me because I’ve been thinking about metamorphosis and how we experience it. Sometimes it’s a folding in and integration, and at others, a relinquishment. Thank you!
So timely, Priya. Thank you for sharing! What you wrote resonated with me. I went on a recent trip and for so many years I’d visit those old places and then go down memory lane . But, I did not do any of it this time around. Something shifted. I no longer felt like I wanted to dwell in the past. I realized that hanging on would never bring them back. I finally found the courage to lay them to rest.
Stella, thank you for reading! You said it- for so long, I didn’t want to let the stories go, and it can be both a decision to not revisit it as well as a growing out of it.
What an interesting experience! I love the image of old stories leaving as birds that can just fly away. In the tarot, which is also an archetypal journey, the suit of Swords is associated with air (and therefore our mental faculties: thoughts, ideas, logic, etc). These cards are often depicted with birds. If you are familiar with tarot, it may be interesting to consider what card you’d associate with that image of yourself and all those birds escaping from your body.
Shinjini, I was talking to a new friend and I heard myself tell an old story. This post is inspired by that conversation and by the reluctance I felt in letting the stories go. I forgot about the birds on the tarot cards and what you say about air resonates. Thank you!
Thanks Priya. Yes, I do tarot but very infrequently now. I wasn’t aware swords = air. Hmm. I’m an air sign and they always seem a bit foreboding to me. I gravitate towards wands actually. May break out the deck soon and give it a go. Btw I thought your dream was fascinating! Mine are usually relationship related and much more mundane.though I know everything is a symbol . Long ago I took an incredible 10 wk dream class, forget the name now. But my last dream ended up with me in the Akashic records so, it did it’s work for sure.
Profound, Priya. Has to be symbolic and only you hold the key. That is the beauty of dissecting our lives—we are the ringmasters.
Thanks, Jeanine! It was one of those of half awake-half asleep imagined encounters.
Your words echo this story I just read a couple days ago, from the masterful Kij Johnson. It seems birds just enter us naturally. https://open.substack.com/pub/thetransport/p/country-birds?r=2ck5x&utm_medium=ios
I read the part above the paywall and it sounds fascinating! Thanks for sharing, Stace!
Fascinating. Like a dream.
How do I let go of a story? Sometimes I say, This sucks, or it’s not there yet. Recently, I decided to put aside my novel. That was huge. The story was too close to a family member so unless I completely redo it will stay tucked away in a corner on my laptop.
That’s a big move, Carissa, and it fit so closely with birds and letting go. Thank you for sharing!
This is beautiful and mystical, shamanic and alchemical. I am not sure that you 'merely' imagined it, perhaps that dark window in the early morning was a portal into another realm, the inner realm of your soul. All lives ask us to become masters of departure, but this has been such a theme in my life. I could truly write a dissertation on it, though for me, sharing it through dance, poetry and writing is the way....I will think more on your question.
Ellen, thank you for sharing. I’d come to rely on those stories and it can keep you stuck. “All lives ask us to become masters of departure..” You said it so well!
I want to say something profound and experience-based. But I have nothing more than admiration for your words, how they convey the mystical experience, and wonder at the depth and richness of your thinking. Fabulous start to the week.
Barrie, you made my day. I’m glad the words resonated with you. Thank you for your support and company on these journeys!
I’m so thrilled to read that. Thank you.
Birds, departure, migration only to return. Yet it’s what we learned, the places we saw that make a difference. I am in a six month departure, still seeing new places before my hero must return and share it with my tribe. Nice to see your birds find their way to my city.
Resident20some, I hadn’t thought of migration. Thank you for connecting that dot for me. Wishing you happy journeys and returns, and say hello to the birds!
Beautiful. I wonder if some will come back to roost again or if they have left for good. I felt a big relief from a departure Iade a few weeks ago. It's not a final farewell but more of a boundaries being readjusted. I am not sure they'll stay though (the boundaries). Only time will tell. I hope yours do.
Susan, I’m share until some of them will come back again before they leave once and for all. Thank you for sharing your story and for your company!
Love reading your work Priya 😊
Thank you, Susan!
What a gift, this magical image of release! Early waking turned out to be a gift for you, and the writing of it makes it a gift for anyone else in the midst of transformation. And who isn't in the midst of transformation? Priya, thank you for sharing this beauty. I am happy for your lightness.
Thanks for reading, Tara! I appreciate it!
Thanks for the nudge, Priya. I’ve been avoiding this one because I so dislike saying goodbye (I know I’m not alone there). Currently, this means leaving my house of 20 years and this city where we lived for 34 years. We are able to put this off for as long as we need but it drags on us. The house deserves better than the occasional weekend stay.
Then this shone through for me: “We may consciously make a choice to leave something behind.” Instantly upon reading that, I felt lighter. I don’t yet know what I may leave, but I know it’ll be something of myself, a token of my deep love and fondness for the place. For the huge old poplar, the two equally magnificent beeches, the dogwoods, hollys, oaks. Thank you for the reminder that ritual can help ease emotional turmoil.
Julie, I was curious about what this brought up for you. Thank you for reading. I’ve been thinking this constant emptying of the old and making oneself available for the new is one of life’s key themes. I was tempted to make it into a redemptive story of “once you empty, the new will come in”, but I decided not to. I just read Candace’s Dandelion Seeds where she talks about letting the forest find us. May the forest (and all your beloved trees) find you in your new home!
Thanks so much, Priya! I missed Candace’s latest. Will check it out.
Very intriguing Priya! I have not experienced this but I'm wonderstruck by the magical nature of this. Also, I wonder if the stories leave for good because they're false or their hold lessens because we see them in a brighter light... Must discuss.
Reena, I thought of it as stories I didn't need anymore. They were now more a crutch than anything else and I had to learn to walk without them. Thank you, and I'd love to discuss it with you!
This was so interesting, Priya!
The way this experience felt like a letting go is particularly interesting. I’ve often wondered if visualising things happening can help is shed emotional or psychological weights. Your piece captured that well. :)
I definitely felt lighter after I visualized this. It makes me feel there is something to these practices. Thank you, Michael!
Yes, I think there’s certainly something to it :)
“If a flock of birds residing in your chest cavity, or more likely, the pit of your stomach, is going to leave, this was the time they would do it.”
There’s another way, but it lacks a certain esthetic appeal.
One early morning in Kenya, when I had a few rare moments to myself, I decided to take a drive through a local game park where I discovered a zebra carcass attended by a wake of Cape vultures who stood at grim attention. Suddenly, in single file, a second wake of vultures exited through a large cavity in the zebra’s hind quarters and politely stepped aside so the first wake could enter and dine.
Grim, morbid, but delightfully thoughtful. Nothing is ever so lacking that it can’t be improved by a little common courtesy.
Grim, indeed. It made me think that both the vultures and the birds I imagined were scavengers, one feasting on the dead while the other took away life energy while I still lived. Thank you, Mr. Switter.
This was fascinating! Yes, our stories change us; there's no doubt about that. I had never thought of it as release, though, like you have with the bird symbol. I tend to think of it in terms of metamorphosis - a more integral process.
Annette, I didn’t have a chance to reply earlier. What you said was fascinating to me because I’ve been thinking about metamorphosis and how we experience it. Sometimes it’s a folding in and integration, and at others, a relinquishment. Thank you!
That's what I like about Substack. You get so many interesting, well expressed perspectives.
So timely, Priya. Thank you for sharing! What you wrote resonated with me. I went on a recent trip and for so many years I’d visit those old places and then go down memory lane . But, I did not do any of it this time around. Something shifted. I no longer felt like I wanted to dwell in the past. I realized that hanging on would never bring them back. I finally found the courage to lay them to rest.
Stella, thank you for reading! You said it- for so long, I didn’t want to let the stories go, and it can be both a decision to not revisit it as well as a growing out of it.