The first thing I thought about as I read your post was how much it felt like I was reading a prose poem and the second think I thought was that I have experienced exactly what you described, which makes me wonder if there is a glitch in the Matrix.
I love the range of awarenesses. Some of them are subtle and float to surface in stillness. Others knock you silly with reverberations. I do not know the mechanism but felt it in your story. The big ones sear into our hearts and minds almost with sensory overload and at least for me require sensory rest to navigate through after it happens. Almost like a jetlag.
Nessa, I love that you pointed out the different ways awareness arises: the bubbling, the floating, and the ones that overload the senses. That last one connected the mind-body experience of it. Thank you for reading and sharing!
Love this piece Priya... your writing so easily creates images and emotions. You have a gift. Thank you for sharing it.
Awareness stories: I've many. Some are painful, some just humorous.
A sampler: my hair began to receed when I was in high school, and I just accepted the fact.
I married quite young, and skipped formal education, preferring to learn business experientially. I was very successful in sales and leasing.
One day I had a good customer in my office, a very distinguished man in his early 60's. We chatted casually after closing a transaction, and he bluntly blurted out "Rich, you should get a hairpiece." I responded negatively, and he confessed he wore a hairpiece. It was so nice, I wouldn't have ever known. He insisted that I would look at least 20 years younger with a hairpiece!
Richard, ha! Re your customer, I’m reminded of a sticker my Dad had stuck on the inside of his closet that read “put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in action.”
Thank you for reading and sharing that story! I shared a Tolstoy quote on Notes yesterday: “If, then, I were asked for the most important advice I could give, that which I considered to be the most useful to the men of our century, I should simply say: in the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.”― Leo Tolstoy
Awareness arrives when we pause and make room for it, yes?
I’m usually made aware via earth shatteringly simple sentences spoken by others that hit me like a three day hangover because I know for the next week that’ll be all I can think about. It’s strange how others can see so clearly what we fail to see in ourselves. Major credit to you for that self awareness
Priya I remember exactly when I was made ‘aware’. My Periappa commented to my mother in a very nonchalant way that I was very ‘adjusting’ ….. yes because I could be whatever you want me to be - mostly agreeable to whatever was going on. Took me the longest time to actually see what I was doing.
Nimmy, the South Asian always-adjusting woman is definitely an archetype! Being appreciated for squashing yourself into whichever shape the moment demands is something that has taken a lifetime to unlearn. Thank you, it’s great to stay in touch through all these years. Much love!
"We were talking about the kind of people we were and, out of nowhere (or somewhere), an awareness arose in my mind, ostensibly my very first one, that I easily fell into what the role demanded within a relationship. That I was quick to let go of who I was to conform to the role." - Wow. I can relate to that.
“Here’s what I find most fascinating: I did not know I needed to change anything until I did. I am sure you have experienced this, this feeling of you aren't aware until you are aware.” — I so relate to this and I totally love how you articulated it, Priya.
Also, your image of awareness, as represented by the ripples in the lake, is beautiful! :)
Reading your footnote to this made me laugh out loud, Priya: "When the raindrops touch the surface of the water, they create ripples. You probably don't know this2 but ripples are the movement of tiny, underwater dervishes."
Those little dervishes swirling below the surface, I love this so much! I will bring this image inside and feel their dancing in all the parts of me awaiting change. 🙏
The first thing I thought about as I read your post was how much it felt like I was reading a prose poem and the second think I thought was that I have experienced exactly what you described, which makes me wonder if there is a glitch in the Matrix.
Definitely a glitch in the matrix! Thank you, Mr.Switter!
I love the range of awarenesses. Some of them are subtle and float to surface in stillness. Others knock you silly with reverberations. I do not know the mechanism but felt it in your story. The big ones sear into our hearts and minds almost with sensory overload and at least for me require sensory rest to navigate through after it happens. Almost like a jetlag.
Nessa, I love that you pointed out the different ways awareness arises: the bubbling, the floating, and the ones that overload the senses. That last one connected the mind-body experience of it. Thank you for reading and sharing!
Love this piece Priya... your writing so easily creates images and emotions. You have a gift. Thank you for sharing it.
Awareness stories: I've many. Some are painful, some just humorous.
A sampler: my hair began to receed when I was in high school, and I just accepted the fact.
I married quite young, and skipped formal education, preferring to learn business experientially. I was very successful in sales and leasing.
One day I had a good customer in my office, a very distinguished man in his early 60's. We chatted casually after closing a transaction, and he bluntly blurted out "Rich, you should get a hairpiece." I responded negatively, and he confessed he wore a hairpiece. It was so nice, I wouldn't have ever known. He insisted that I would look at least 20 years younger with a hairpiece!
...I was 23 at the time!
I never did share my age with him.
Richard, ha! Re your customer, I’m reminded of a sticker my Dad had stuck on the inside of his closet that read “put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in action.”
Thank you for reading and sharing that story! I shared a Tolstoy quote on Notes yesterday: “If, then, I were asked for the most important advice I could give, that which I considered to be the most useful to the men of our century, I should simply say: in the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.”― Leo Tolstoy
Awareness arrives when we pause and make room for it, yes?
I identify with this so much. Thanks for sharing
Molly, thank you for reading! Much appreciated!
I’m usually made aware via earth shatteringly simple sentences spoken by others that hit me like a three day hangover because I know for the next week that’ll be all I can think about. It’s strange how others can see so clearly what we fail to see in ourselves. Major credit to you for that self awareness
Resident20Some, ha, yes, it definitely leaves aftershock for days! Thank you for reading, much appreciated.
As always love the metaphors...we must talk about this sudden moment some more.
Look forward to it, Reena! Thanks for reading!
Beautiful piece Priya. Loved every bit of it.
Thank you, Shital! Appreciate your reading it!
Priya I remember exactly when I was made ‘aware’. My Periappa commented to my mother in a very nonchalant way that I was very ‘adjusting’ ….. yes because I could be whatever you want me to be - mostly agreeable to whatever was going on. Took me the longest time to actually see what I was doing.
Thought provoking writing as always.
Nimmy, the South Asian always-adjusting woman is definitely an archetype! Being appreciated for squashing yourself into whichever shape the moment demands is something that has taken a lifetime to unlearn. Thank you, it’s great to stay in touch through all these years. Much love!
"We were talking about the kind of people we were and, out of nowhere (or somewhere), an awareness arose in my mind, ostensibly my very first one, that I easily fell into what the role demanded within a relationship. That I was quick to let go of who I was to conform to the role." - Wow. I can relate to that.
Thank you, Nadia. I always appreciate you, my friend!
I appreciate you, dear Priya!
I love that Priya. Awareness as water ripples and then ever-expanding waves. Great visual. Thank you for the lovely essay. 🙏❤️
Thank you, Dee, for reading! Appreciate it!
“Here’s what I find most fascinating: I did not know I needed to change anything until I did. I am sure you have experienced this, this feeling of you aren't aware until you are aware.” — I so relate to this and I totally love how you articulated it, Priya.
Also, your image of awareness, as represented by the ripples in the lake, is beautiful! :)
Thanks as always, Michael!
Reading your footnote to this made me laugh out loud, Priya: "When the raindrops touch the surface of the water, they create ripples. You probably don't know this2 but ripples are the movement of tiny, underwater dervishes."
This is exquisitely delightful❤️🙏🕊️
Those little dervishes swirling below the surface, I love this so much! I will bring this image inside and feel their dancing in all the parts of me awaiting change. 🙏